Be My Guest / Spreading the Love / Week 2 / Day 1
Dr. Dog - Takers and Leavers - California
[ pontificate ]
“You’ll never be able to do it,” she said.
The rain rained on his corduroy pants and made the dark brown darker. His white button up shirt wasn’t really that white, more like a yellow translucence that the highest dryer heat could only paint after 100 tries. The water that had built up in his hair was so close to looking intentional and he was sure about his bus card having enough fare on it. He even had enough for a few transfers to spare, just in case. The card’s swipe held an exhilarating freshness, ‘it seems as though there was room for improvement after all,’ he thought, breathing in the new him. After so many forgettable moments of wondering if what he had would be enough, each time preparing him for the apologetic renunciation of “I’m sorry, but…”
Today was different, today was historic. He took the bus instead of the train because he can see better out the windows and he likes the scenery - it takes longer, but that’s okay if he leaves early enough. He likes the left side of the bus, and the raised seats are his favorite. He got off a few stops early because he enjoys walking and the quiet at that hour is nice.
The light that the elevator button lit under his finger looked like it does in the movies, it made him smile and feel good. The moment the elevator rose without his stomach is when he figured it out. Today felt different because what he was about to do was no longer difficult. The tasks had become easy. They had become work. He walked in, performed his role, and left in a matter of two hours. He gathered his tools and limped their weight down the hall.
The elevator button sat just above the decorative ashtray, centered between the two steel doors. He stared at it for a moment before he pressed it and made it light through the cracked old plastic. He felt tired and the scene didn’t feel cinematic like the last time. He stared at the light until it turned off. His stomach was ready for the elevator this time. He decided on his way down that when the doors opened, he would walk all the way home. It took him two hours to get there, but that was okay because she wouldn’t have left yet. He opened the door and walked in. She put her book down and looked up.
“You’re right,” he said.