Explosions In The Sky- All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone- Mountains Mix
[ diffident ]
It’s been happening since the first grade. He said he was building rocket propelled shoes that were sure to get him past me. He was also building a submarine in his basement. That was then, and I believe he a was the first. I hadn’t expected it nor did I ask for it. In middle school He was only ahead of me because of His connection to where He wanted to be. Later we would find out that three years of him looking down and me looking up was in fact more due to the fact that I was sitting and that he was being carried on someone’s shoulders. I watched comfortably. I knew, but maybe didn’t know at that time that I didn’t really care that much. It would all be over soon enough. Though I remember the looks on the faces of the decision makers. They new. Maybe I carried my accent like my father did(though the more I think of it maybe my skin carried it more than the words I spoke. She reminded me once, and so did they out east, and when I go back home I find them while waiting in line at the grocery store or at the gas station. They once told me, in between classes as we passed by the weight lifting room on the north end of the building, that they didn’t even see me as different, I was like one of them. Then I smiled, I didn’t know, or understand, but neither did they. Once I had to ask her if my skin was a problem. Not the texture. She, they, were insulted, but I had to ask. It was then that I found out that it was another case of the rocket propelled shoes. Most recently I was reminded of my via hers. Just another one of those, huh. I forget. but their eyes don’t. Those rocket propelled shoes went somewhere else, too). His humor often hides it for him, or maybe that is what makes them laugh more, harder. Isn’t that what made Desi a little funnier. That thick accent that made every syllable weigh a little more or a little less. Thick enough to have listeners turn their head slightly just to get the good ear listening a little harder, so that while they are smiling and nodding they know what they are smiling and nodding about. Not so thick that words need repeating, but thick enough where often times a misplaced laugh would have my father ask ‘what’s so funny?’ I would run into Him and His Father again, and experience similar results. Last week I ran into him again. Same shit, only now I can tell, I can see it sooner. Now it’s more entertaining. We talked over cigs and PBR’s about what it means to find that place, and maybe that is why it happens to me. Maybe they think I am where they think they need to be, or want to be. I am just there. I am just here. I am trying to get there too.