Helado Negro - Awe Owe - Espuma Negra
[ to think of some place as the one place ]
In the heat of all of it, dealing with the feeling of not liking the feeling one is feeling, every word leading you further from that good kind of silence, short fused used up I reached for the door handle, locked, unlocked, looked over and winked. The smell of the air took me back to a place deep in the sea of thoughts. It smells like the trees are yellow. Yellow has a smell now. Still wrestling with the feeling of a feeling it didn’t take long to be reminded of how insignificant either one of those feelings was. As I made my way out of the neighborhood corner store inhaling deeply that smell of yellow, a four pack of craft beer in hand cig in the other, I saw my first sign. Younger than I for sure, they held each other close. A look of sadness on her face, a cold look of nervousness on his. The embrace lasted longer than it took me to slowly walk a city block. There was no concern for the ticking meter inside of the cab waiting with its doors wide open. A few other faces blankly stared out the tinted windows as the smell of yellow filled the van. It was the quietest block on that street that night and the warmest. I only turned once after passing them to see if what I had been seeing as I approached still existed. It did. It reminded me to chill. I don’t have to wear those shoes, so I’ll never have to walk in them. But they chose to wear them, and even though it might have seemed like a good idea at the time, I am sure the five steps toward the van, away from what appeared to be the one he will be missing the most, felt like the longest lost walk. Reminder number one. Number two greeted me just the same. From across the street a slow burning candle surrounded by flowers, photographs and various other nostalgic objects slow danced in sorrow for a life that had passed. Not in a way that anyone would ever fathom. Just violence. I might of done a triple take, because again I couldn’t believe what the universe was telling me. It didn’t take but another few steps to realize the foolishness of the feelings I had prior to entering that convenience store. It happens like that for me a lot, I get worked up and then reminded that it isn’t all that bad. It illuminates. // She counted aloud on her hand. Safe to assume beyond five. I wonder what it was she was forgetting. I forgot the bread again. // All day he thought I was someone else. // Practicing patience // Resisting arrest.