Mac Demarco - 2 - My Kind of Woman
[ video ]
[ vertigo ]
The feeling of falling, in and out of, in and out of, in and out of until you are completely into it, when it becomes better than feeling completely out of it. Or like that feeling of being completely out of it, like being drunk on it, or high on it, waking up next to it like “what the fuck happened last night?” When it is better than being completely into it, because being completely into it is far too sobering. Be aware of those initial flutters that speak of forever. Forever is continually tempted by the feeling of falling. I’ve been lucky to find forever more than once. Yesterday it was found it floating in the pacific breeze, it hit my skin with it salty pacific waters, it got between my toes with its pacific sands, it woke me up at night with a pacific wind chill that found it way through the windows and around the kitchen and down to the floor where I dreamt the night away. Dreaming about getting faded up. Dreaming about where I left forever last. There is a yearning, a gut wrenching yearning. But it’s almost a given that in the next spoon full of sugar that goes into the mug, the next revolving door that finds me sharing a similar pace, the next sidewalk shift, that forever will be lurking. It might be that sobering kind, it might be that late night kind. // Yesterday they spent the holiday on the beach. Thinking about the greatest gift. the gift of time. I realized at that moment that at every moment all around the world people were being taken somewhere, or going somewhere, and that it never stops. There isn’t one moment that exists here when everyone is still. Even if we were to be still, the stillness within us would not exist. // everyone’s definition of what it means to be here is different, and that is okay. you must understand that. that it is okay to be different. and that it is okay that others are different. that it is okay to disagree. that it is okay. everything is okay.