Willie Dixon - Weak Brain and Narrow Mind
erudite - |ˈer(y)əˌdīt|
All of everything is okay, except for one thing and one thing only. Always. There always seems to be one thing. Without question, just one thing. She brought her highlighter today, the pink one. I have only seen her here six other times. Each time we have taken the same tables, me by the maps, her by the plants. In the two hours that I spend sipping and typing until my mind is going fast enough to jumpstart my car a good handful of people sit, position themselves, sip and then leave. If I had to average it out I would say about 9 people an hour, at least in the quiet room, not that that shit matters anyway. In the amount of time each spends in the room updating a status, emailing, texting, or waiting for there partner to come out of the bathroom she assumes the thinking position. Her laptop is open, her book is open, her notebook is open, she has a pen a pencil and her highlighter ready for use to the right of everything. It is possible that she has already noticed me noticing. She hasn’t made eye contact, yet. but I sit, sip, and type. In the time I am there she flips from front to back highlighting what appears to be at random the words on every left page. She has never, in the six other times I have seen her, made a mark on the right page. When a new person walks in she puts the marker down and either rests her head on the chin, or grips both hands firmly and then places them at her brow, tipping her had down as if reading. She isn’t doing shit, and nobody is noticing. I have put myself at just the right angle to notice, she isn’t doing shit. It is the coffee shop guise. Look like you’re doing something. that is all you need, well aside from the purchase of something can justify your occupation of chair. No one is noticing, for several reasons, and most importantly, who cares. Here I am sitting across from her noticing, and for some reason caring. Wanting to scream aloud, in the quiet room, “doesn’t anybody fucking see that she isn’t doing shit?!” or get up and move to the table behind her passing out notes that say “the girl behind me isn’t doing shit, watch for a good minute and notice what I have noticed. toss this note away after you read it.” But why do I even care. I have taken notice. It has been made clear to me. When I first started making photographs I was told that it made sense that I photographed the way that I did, because I always noticed the little things. It is a statement that I have heard other say to young photographers. But even if I made a picture of this faker, it wouldn’t show what I have seen. My coffee is running low, and my mind is almost going fast enough to jumpstart my car. I have a long drive ahead of me. You could say that what I do when I hop in my car is determine how big of a U-turn I am about to make. Soon enough I’ll get tired of turning around. She just started highlighting at random again. Bullshit.