Witchdoctor - A S.W.A.T Healin’ Ritual - 7th Floor / The Serengetti
[ doses ]
time grabbers. you get what you pay for. why does that never cease to amaze me. i could be talking about that shit like freshman year in college, and how it didn’t get better as time moved into the third year. We got what we paid for. Then I moved. I got a sense that I was going to continue to get what I paid for. They looked at me like I was crazy. Some even said it. Some meant it when they said. Some meant to say it, but instead allowed for the tone that accompanied their jumbled thoughts to communicate it instead. I’m not sure if I have written about this yet, but I have certainly talked about. It happened after I saw the boat go over the mountain. There was no CGI, and they weren’t even actors, I mean they thought he was crazy. Then as I sat in the kitchen thinking about how I had just been involved in another defining life moment conversation, chugging water, I realized you can’t loiter on the doorsteps of crazy. The way I have explained is like this. You have an idea, right? One of those ideas that makes its way into your everyday, your dreams, your conversations, keeps you from paying attention when you should be focused, because you can’t stop thinking about your crazy fucking idea. That kind of idea. The kind of idea that requires to make a decision. I’m not talking about like when you go out to eat and they ask you coke or pepsi. But shit for some of you it is that. so never mind. I’m talking about a game changer. Life changer. For the weakest of some, friend changer. Shit, sometimes that needs to happen anyway. Either way, this idea, this crazy idea requires you to make a decision. But you must remember along the way that there is no loitering on the doorsteps of crazy. It comes with a welcome mat that says so. If you find yourself loitering you will notice that the stresses that come along with thinking about your crazy idea begin to make you feel crazy. In fact you just might be driving yourself crazy over-thinking shit, stupid meaningless shit, shit that you have tossed in front of you to make you think that it is important to think about kind of crazy shit. make you go crazy type of shit. So don’t loiter. You have options, you always will, but you better fucking go for it. By that I mean do it or don’t. Commit to do or not to do. Commit. To loiter can damage more than just you. EIther way you are going to be okay when you commit. And nobody can give you shit for that decision. I should say some ideas are legitimately crazy. I wouldn’t advise smoking crack. I can’t say anything good would come from that. Not from experience, but from all that has been presented to me in life. Real life shit that I have seen and virtual. No bueno, I’ll pass, you should too. Easy decision. The option to move forward and go through the door labeled crazy, is a good one. There is a period of “oh shit what I have I done”, but you find yourself in good company. Walking through that door will present to you a number of individuals with different crazy ideas that took that step forward as well. They’ll talk about how they saw you through the peep hole hoping you would come through. Hoping you wouldn’t loiter. They’ll share with you their thoughts about how it feels good to have made the decision to go forward and how any other decision would have been crazy. Just like if you hadn’t gone forward you would be welcomed back by all those that hadn’t gone forward as well. And your conversations would briefly revolve around how that would have been crazy if you would have gone forward. In both instances you are all correct. However, you either get better at saying yes to your crazy ideas, or you get better at standing in place getting better at whatever that may be. There is nothing wrong with either decision. We are all the welcoming committee for those to come regardless of our decision. Writing about it removes my flailing arms, the extra filled veins in my neck bulging out, and a look on my face that might just make you think I am crazy. We get what we pay. I’m done with two coats, my back hurst like on some old man shit, and I can see that I’ll need at least two more coats. Bullshit fucking cheap ass paint. It would have been crazy to pay for the good shit. I got what I paid for. Goddamn it.